


Till Death Do Us Part

by Cryrael



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Azure Moon - Freeform, Dumb boys being dumb, Fluff, I'm Bad At Summaries, M/M, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH FOR CHAPTER TWO THO, Sylvix Childhood Promises, WITH CHAPTER TWO NOW CRIMSON FLOWER VERSION, also loads of angst and fluff, idk man, listen it's Gronder and their childhood promise, no beta we die like Glenn, what more could you want from a Sylvix fic?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-24 18:34:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22002571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cryrael/pseuds/Cryrael
Summary: "Think what you will about the Boar, but don't let it distract you today. We still have a promise to uphold and I don't intend to die in this miserable place today". Sylvain smiled ruefully at him and spoke softly, "As if I could ever forget our promise just like that, you should know me better". The redhead laughed. "Also, it is way too beautiful a day to die on, don't you agree?"
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	1. Azure Moon

**Author's Note:**

> It is done! I actually finished this as the first story in years and I've been writing this beast since yesterday morning when some of these scenes just kept playing and playing in my head, nagging me to write them down! So here's the finished piece and I hope y'all enjoyed it! If you did, I'd really appreciate a comment or come scream to me on twitter (https://twitter.com/_winters_child_) or Instagram where I also cosplay both of these boys (https://www.instagram.com/winters_child_cosplay/?hl=en)
> 
> Also, this song perfectly goes with the fic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtHubsyGD8w. Enjoy!

It was a beautiful day, the early sunlight rising over the horizon and reflecting off of the army clad in steel in the open land below, almost blinding Felix up on the cliff where he and the others had set up their camp for the night. They'd marched till early afternoon yesterday, eager to be the first ones to arrive at Gronder. Strategic advantage and all, as Byleth had put it. Felix hadn't really been paying attention. The soft clip-clop of hooves brought his thoughts to a halt.

"Come to bother me again?", he asked without looking back.

"And here I thought you'd be happy to see me", a soft voice joked. "How'd you know it was me anyway?".

"Oh please, as if anyone else would come and join me for some early morning chatter with their horse in tow", Felix scoffed. When he finally turned to look at the young man standing next to him, Sylvain was smiling at him. His red hair was even more dishevelled than usual, this time actual victim to weeks on the road rather than artfully styled bedhead, and in the light of the early morning sun, it looked practically lit it on fire. With a sigh Felix turned his head back towards the plains before him.

Looking at the red-tinged sky, he noticed two tiny spots rapidly approaching. Sylvain noticed them too. "Must be the pegasi scouts we sent", he muttered gloomily. "Wanna bet that our former classmates have also arrived at the party we're having today?"

Felix frowned. If he strained his eyes, he imagined seeing bright metal armour glinting all the way across Gronder Field, the other two armies already up and about much like their own. Down below in their camp, the two scouts landed, bringing with them a whirlwind of action. Soldiers were running around, trying to find the last of their equipment before stumbling off into their positions. Above it all, the banners flying the Blue Lion of Fearghus were softly fluttering in the gentle breeze. It really was a beautiful day.

"Reckon' if Edelgard brought some of those Demonic Beasts?", Sylvain asked, still joking, though his voice was everything but laced with mirth.

"The question is not if, but how many", Felix responded drily. They fell into silence again, each lost in their thoughts. Sylvain's horse began to chew on his sleeve.

"Who could've thought it'd come to this?", Sylvain sighed, "seems like our time at the academy was a lifetime ago. Us, and the other Lions, and all the other guys. And now we have to go to war with them…", he trailed off.

"They started it", Felix said sharply. "Edelgard and her bloodhound Hubert, and all their little spies and cronies. All for the glory of the great Adrestian empire", he spat out the words with as much disgust as he felt. "And the Boar is none the better! He has long lost himself to his bloodlust and thirst for revenge, and thanks to that we can all happily die here today", Felix said bitterly.

"He is still our king", Sylvain interjected tiredly.

"He is but a madman dragging all of us down with him in his blind quest for Edelgard's head on a pike!", Felix fought hard to keep his voice from shouting.

"He used to be our friend", Sylvain half-heartedly argued.

"That friend died long ago when his parents were murdered. Not that he was the only one", Felix abruptly fell quiet and yet couldn't stop the flood of memories coming back to him.

The young prince standing before his parents' coffin during the funeral, eyes empty and lifeless; his father holding Felix by the shoulder to tell him that his brother Glenn "died like a true knight, he should be proud"; their group of friends slowly falling apart with only Sylvain trying to hold them together –  
Felix roughly shoved those memories into the back of his mind where they belonged, locked behind heavily bolted doors.  
It wasn't like him to indulge in the past, especially not on a day as important as this. He took a deep breath and spoke up again, "Think what you will about the Boar, but don't let it distract you today. We still have a promise to uphold and I don't intend to die in this miserable place today".

Sylvain smiled ruefully at him and spoke softly, "As if I could ever forget our promise just like that, you should know me better". The redhead laughed. "Also, it is way too beautiful a day to die on, don't you agree?"

*

An ear-shattering series of explosions came from atop Observation Hill. A quick look back showed Felix that it was completely ablaze, engulfing both enemy soldiers and their own into bright hot flames with a roar that sounded like a gigantic demonic beast of some kind. "Fuck", he muttered under his breath and hoped that none of his closer friends had been on that hill. He tried not to think of poor Bernadetta, who'd been up there manning the turret, now nothing more than yet another sacrifice to Edelgard's mad conquest.  
An arrow that whizzed by his ear too close for his comfort violently tore him out of his thoughts, and he raised his sword once more, looking for the next enemy to destroy. His arms ached from swinging his sword all day, and sweat threatened to run into his eyes. He angrily swiped it away, only further smudging blood and dirt on his face. Looking around, he saw that Dimitri and his battalion had been cornered by a troop of heavily armoured axe knights next to the burning hill, only aided by Sylvain and his cavalry troop. Gathering his own men around him, he shouted, "To the king!", his abused vocal cords aching in the process. Using his dwindling magic, he released a sizzling lightning beam from his palm, ignoring the sharp sting of pain as the magic burned through his arm and obliterated the unfortunate souls standing in his way.  
The closer they got to the hill, the more smoke filled Felix lungs and he had to cough. The air was thick with the stench of blood, explosives and magic, and with all the smoke, it was getting harder to see clearly, the smokescreen only briefly lit by the bright light of a few wayward destructive spells. He struggled to make out Dimitri in this chaos and kept hacking and slashing away at the Adrestian soldiers in his way.  
Just when he thought he'd spotted Dimitri's bright blonde hair and gleaming spear a few paces away, a painfully familiar voice from somewhere behind his back shouted a panicked "WATCH OUT!" Felix spun around immediately, only to find himself roughly shoved aside by a familiar redhead. Sylvain. Felix could only watch in horror as an enemy rider brandishing a heavy lance struck at the spot where he'd stood not a moment ago. Where Sylvain was standing now. Felix almost didn't register the lightning spell leaving his fingers and burning the enemy knight to a crisp, not when all he could focus on was Sylvain slowly turning around, a trickle of blood running from his lips. "Fe…", he whispered shakily, then crumpled to the ground in a heap of plated armour and red hair. Everything inside Felix came to a screeching halt, and he turned cold all over. Frantically looking around the battlefield for one of their healers, he spotted a cream-coloured veil just on the edge of his vision.  
"MERCEDES!!", he screamed at the top of his lungs, desperately trying to make himself heard over the deafening sounds of swords clashing, horses dying and men screaming. The healer was several paces away, doing her best to lightly sidestep the fighting around her while trying to provide assistance to their battalions at the same time. Her hands were covered in the white glow of recovery magic and sweat, and blood clung to her usually so pristine clothing. When she locked eyes with him across the battlefield, he could see the shock in her eyes as she took in his situation.

His view was momentarily cut off by an enemy soldier wielding a heavy axe that stormed in his direction, a scream on his lips. Felix raised one of his hands from Sylvain's still body, gathering whatever magic he had left to blast a shock of thunder straight to the soldier's chest. With a disgusting sizzling sound, the soldier fell to the ground, axe clattering from his hand. Then Mercedes was there, her normally soft hands slick with blood as she gently but firmly pushed him aside so she could see Sylvain better. By now, a pool of blood had formed around the fallen cavalier, and he was only faintly breathing. Mercedes said nothing, and her usually gentle expression was locked into a tight look of intense concentration as she kept her healing magic steadily flowing from her hands straight to the bloody hole in Sylvain's chest. Felix could only numbly watch, a shrill ringing filling his ears.

He was faintly aware of voices screaming victorious cries and the blue banners of Fearghus fluttering over the still smoking and smouldering battlefield, yet he felt like everything was put under a numbing veil with the only clear focus point being the deep deep pool of red around Sylvain. That horrible, horrible moment kept replaying in his head over and over, the resounding _crunch_ the lance had made as it shattered Sylvain's plated armour, the metal screeching in a futile attempt of stopping the weapon from causing harm to its wearer. Somewhere deep in his mind, a memory from years ago flooded unwillingly to the surface. Sylvain had been covered in blood back then, too.

*

_They'd just wanted to go explore for a bit, seek the treasure Miklan had told Sylvain about, which was rumoured to be buried just along that one big boulder in the forest._   
_"C'mon Fe, it'll be fun! And imagine the face His Highness will make when we show him the great treasure we found! I bet he'll be so jealous. Would serve him right for going along on that stupid diplomatic visit to Arianrhod with his dad"._

_Felix had snickered, "And imagine the face Ingrid will make when she realizes we snuck off without her again"._

_Sylvain had laughed along with him, and together they had snuck off, only shadowed by a very bored looking guard that Sylvain's father had ordered to chaperone them. They'd wandered through the forest, teasing and giggling like they were still 5 years old. They didn't find any of that supposed treasure, yet that didn't stop them from enjoying their day out in the lush and green woods around the Gautier estate that were just bursting with springtime life and energy._

_That was until the bears had appeared. One moment they were peacefully playing by a riverside of a small stream that happily gurgled along, the next they found themselves face to face with two sleepy-looking bear cubs. Sylvain had frozen immediately. "Fe", he'd whispered, "stay very still now"._   
_Felix had been confused and a bit scared, although the slightly younger boy didn't yet know of how much danger they were in. Sylvain did know, though, and he'd carefully shuffled himself and Felix backwards, trying to both keep the cubs in sight and catch the attention of the guard that was reading a book on a large rock several paces behind them._   
_In the end, it hadn't been enough._

_The slow and unhurried thumping sounds of footsteps that signalled the arrival of a very large and heavy animal had finally managed to rouse the guard - he hastily sprung to his feet and grabbed the lance he'd propped up against the rock he'd been sitting on. In vain, as against the fully grown and enraged mother bear he'd had little chance to begin with. He'd screamed at the kids to run back to the estate, trying to keep the bear away from his charges using his lance when a heavy paw hit him on the side of his head, and he crumpled to the ground._   
_The kids had taken off, terrified for their lives, and a hurried glance backwards to where the bear was systematically maiming the guard had been enough to have terror settle deep into their bones._   
_They'd stumbled through the forest into what they hoped was the right direction as fast as they could, breaths coming quick and shallow. Behind them, the bear had finished maiming the guard and now looked to them, snout stained a dark red. To this day, Felix didn't know if it was a protective instinct activated by her cubs mewling next to her or simple bloodlust that made the bear go after the two terrified kids still stumbling away. They'd been no match for her, not even close, and with a few leaps the bear had caught up with them, swiping a paw at Felix's back._   
_He was thrown into the air, a sharp burning sensation tearing through his back, and he could feel the bones in his right leg breaking upon impact with the ground. He'd screamed and tried to back away, fully expecting the bear to come and tear him apart like the guard. But when he'd turned around, expecting to see the bear inches from his face, all he saw instead was a crop of bright red hair. Sylvain was standing with his back to him, facing the bear with hunched shoulders. The dagger in his hand was badly shaking along with the rest of his body, but he stood his ground. It was at that moment that his crest activated for the first time, bursting out from around him in a ring of glowing light._   
_The bear roared angrily but was clearly confused by the blinding light emanating from the small human in front of her. With a last growl, she decided they were not worth the fight and took off in the direction of the river, her footsteps a heavy **thump, thump, thump.** The two boys didn't dare move for a second, until Sylvain's dagger fell from his cramped grip to the ground with a muffled **thunk**._   
_They dragged themselves out of the forest hours later, both bloodied and Felix being practically carried by Sylvain._

_It was later that day, when the nurses had finished gushing over them and finally let them rest for a bit, that Sylvain had come over to sit on Felix’s bed._   
_"Let's make a promise, Fe", he'd said. His face had been unusually serious, eyes set with determination and brows furrowed, so unlike the easy smile that graced his features most days. Felix had been crying earlier, tear tracks still staining his cheeks. "Let's always stick together. 'Till we grow old and die. How's that sound?"_

_Felix had pondered it for a moment, then determinedly held out his hand. "Then neither of us is allowed to die without the other. Promise?"_

_Sylvain took his hand with a grim look on his face. "Promise"._

*

Soft light filtered in through the breezy white curtains of the infirmary. They'd moved back to Garreg Mach after their victory at Gronder, choosing to rest and recover their forces before they'd have to start their long and arduous campaign to retake their capital city from the Adrestian empire. Long and heated debates were held in the monastery's large strategy room, not that Felix had been part of any of them.

No, he'd only left the infirmary when Mercedes had practically dragged him to the dining hall, under threat of sedating and then force-feeding him if he didn't comply. "He'll still be here when you return", she'd assured him softly, with a knowing look in her eyes. Felix found that hard to believe. Every time he looked at the cavalier on the bed, torso completely wrapped in thick white bandages, he felt his throat clog up and a deep fear in his belly that he just couldn't shake. He just couldn't help it; Sylvain had never looked quite so fragile. Felix could practically feel all the years of unsaid feelings and regret burning in him, the actual reality that he nearly had lost Sylvain forever, that he'd never hear him pester him again, never hear him laugh again, never see his smile. He would have joined his brother and father and endless stream of casualties this war kept demanding and would have left him here, alone, just like everyone else. Felix thought back to the day they'd first set foot into the monastery five years ago, ready to start school and learn all about their duties and warfare.

*

His uniform had looked so effortlessly good on him, the black and gold of it really bringing out his amber eyes. It had been hard to look at Sylvain, who'd send a dashing smile and an easy wink at every girl who so much as breathed in his direction. Felix had known that Sylvain wasn't really serious about any of them; he knew about his struggles with his crest and titles and that the endless stream of girls on his arm were a mere distraction from those unpleasant thoughts of marriage that they'd both knew they'd be forced into at one point. Everything to uphold the family legacy, good old Fearghus traditions that had been around since the Kingdom existed.  
Felix scoffed. Not that he'd contribute much to that. Ever since he grew out of his childhood phase and started noticing how nice some of the boys looked when they were sparring, he grew terribly distracted in Summer when it turned hot even up in the north of Fearghus and the knights would forgo their shirts, showing of perfect muscles steeled by their vigorous training. And the Sauna. Well. He'd kept avoiding that altogether from then on, especially since Sylvain always, always, hung around him and the other boy couldn't stop touching him. Felix knew he'd meant nothing more by it than simply camaraderie and friendship, but Felix also knew that if Sylvain didn't remove his nicely muscled arms from around his shoulders and stepped away from him right this second, he'd gut him like a fish. Or kiss him. Felix hadn't been too sure about it either. Hence the increasing avoidance of a certain redhead during their time at the academy.  
So what if he grew a little snappy around him? Felix didn't have that much energy left to play nice anyways, not since Glenn had died. Anyways, Sylvain always kept coming back to him; he knew that Felix didn't truly mind his company. It had worked for them.

*

Sylvain groaned softly and Felix was catapulted back to the present. His eyes flew over just in time to see Sylvain slowly open his. He watched the redhead blinking sluggishly and trying to figure out his environment, before focusing on Felix. He opened his mouth, yet nothing but a dry cough came out. Felix immediately stood and carefully lifted an already prepared glass of water to Sylvain's lips.

"Careful", he murmured as the other greedily drank till the glass was completely emptied. Leaning back, the redhead licked his chapped lips and rasped a soft "Much better". For a moment none of them said anything. Then Sylvain tentatively broke the silence. "Sooo…I take it we won the battle?"

Felix said nothing. He feared that if he opened his mouth now, he would simply start to scream and not stop till everything he'd so desperately wanted to tell the redhead for the past week had been said. And some of that stuff he'd prefer to take to his grave. His far far in the future grave.

"C'mon Fe, don't leave me hanging! And if my memory serves me right and I'm interpreting my mummification here correctly, I kinda saved your life back there! Might a little thank you be too much to hope for?", Sylvain said in his obnoxious teasing tone that drove Felix up the walls.

"YOU COULD HAVE FUCKING DIED!", he burst out. "I had to help stuff your damn intestines back into your body so Mercedes could have at least a chance of healing you up again!! I had to watch you bleed out right in front of me with nothing I could do to save you! If that damn lance had hit you just about five centimetres higher, you would have been dead; dead, you hear me?! And what would I have done then? Bury you along with my father and my brother and your brother in a big happy family tomb, huh? I - ", and here Felix broke off, his shoulders sagging as he folded himself inwards as much as possible on his chair.

"Oh. Oh, Fe, c'mere", Sylvain whispered, voice laced with emotion. Felix wordlessly climbed onto the bed, careful not to jostle any of the cavalier's plenty injuries. Sylvain just sneaked an arm around him and simply held him as he shook, tears finally spilling over. Felix angrily swiped at his eyes.

"That brings back memories, huh?", Sylvain quietly mused, "you used to come to me crying all the time when we were kids, it was hilarious if not a bit annoying". He fell silent for a bit before continuing, "I haven't seen you cry in so many years, I've forgotten just how much I can't stand to see you upset." Felix weakly hit his shoulder in silent protest, still not trusting himself to talk.

"Hey, ouch, careful with the wounded!", Sylvain joked. Felix just snorted and punched him again. "You know", he said, voice still rough from crying, "I never quiet realized how much I would miss your stupid face if it were gone".

Sylvain laughed. "Guess we had the right idea as kids then. No dying without the other anytime soon, remember?".

Felix scowled, "Then kindly stop jumping in front of lances to heroically save the day, you dumbass".

Sylvain quickly turned serious. "You know I can't promise that. I'm not sorry for what I did, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat if it meant you were safe."

Felix breathed in deeply and shook his head, his hair long unravelled from the messy ponytail he usually wore falling in wild strands on his face int the process. He practically climbed atop Sylvain, careful to not put any weight onto the stomach injury and put his hands on either side of the other's head for emphasis. "Listen to me. I. Can't. _Lose_ you, too", his tone was ragged, and Sylvain just stared at him; amber eyes wide. "Fe, it's alright, I'm right here", his hands coming up to Felix' forearms in an attempt to ground the swordsman atop him. Felix just looked at him, critically assessing. He didn't get his point, not truly. "Ah, fuck it", he thought and leaned down to capture the other's lips in a brusque kiss.

Sylvain just made a surprised noise deep in his chest and went completely still for a moment, before he enthusiastically began to kiss back. Felix didn't have much experience with kissing but after years and years of fantasizing about exactly these lips, the other's chapped lips now moving softly against his own felt pretty damn great to him. After a while he pulled back to take a deep breath.

"I've been wanting to do this for years, you stupid self-sacrificing oaf", he finally murmured, not looking into the amber eyes that he could practically feel staring at him. Felix rolled his eyes when he got no reply, "What, the cat got your tongue?".

Sylvain cleared his throat and responded sheepishly, "I've been pretty darn stupid, haven't I? Not really catching up on your hints at all, I'm afraid".

"Considering I've been in love with your dumb ass since I outgrew my wooden training sword, I'm not sure if that doesn't make me the idiot here", Felix just answered drily.

Sylvain laughed. "So, whaddaya say, let's make another deal: Less dying, more kissing. Sound alright?", the redhead suggested cheekily. In lieu of a response, Felix simply dove back down for another kiss. Sounded pretty good to him.

And he'd just have to settle for always watching the other's back for him. Couldn't have the idiot dying an unnecessary heroic death now that he finally got him right where he wanted him to be, soft and pliant under him. An echo of a memory faintly resurfaced in the back of his mind; two kids - one red haired, the other's a dark blue, almost black - shaking hands, stubbornly agreeing to a deal that would bind them together for the rest of their lives. Felix briefly smiled at the memory before his mind turned onto more present matters in the form of a whiny cavalier demanding his attention. They'd be alright. They always were, as long as the other was there.

***


	2. Crimson Flower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I decided to write an alternative ending for reasons (end notes) so here's the Crimson Flower version of their story. Enjoy the angst!

It was a beautiful day, the early sunlight rising over the horizon and reflecting off of the army clad in steel in the open land below, almost blinding Felix up on the cliff where he and the others had set up their camp for the night. They'd marched till early afternoon yesterday, eager to be the first ones to arrive at Gronder. Strategic advantage and all, as Rodrigue had put it. Felix hadn't really been paying attention. The soft clip-clop of hooves brought his thoughts to a halt.

"Come to bother me again?", he asked without looking back.

"And here I thought you'd be happy to see me", a soft voice joked. "How'd you know it was me anyway?".

"Oh please, as if anyone else would come and join me for some early morning chatter with their horse in tow", Felix scoffed. When he finally turned to look at the young man standing next to him, Sylvain was smiling at him. His red hair was even more dishevelled than usual, this time actual victim to weeks on the road rather than artfully styled bedhead, and in the light of the early morning sun, it looked practically lit it on fire. With a sigh Felix turned his head back towards the plains before him.

Looking at the red-tinged sky, he noticed two tiny spots rapidly approaching. Sylvain noticed them too. "Must be the pegasi scouts we sent", he muttered gloomily. "Wanna bet that our former classmates have also arrived at the party we're having today?"

Felix frowned. If he strained his eyes, he imagined seeing bright metal armour glinting all the way across Gronder Field, the other two armies already up and about much like their own. Down below in their camp, the two scouts landed, bringing with them a whirlwind of action. Soldiers were running around, trying to find the last of their equipment before stumbling off into their positions. Above it all, the banners flying the Blue Lion of Fearghus were softly fluttering in the gentle breeze. It really was a beautiful day.

"Reckon' if Edelgard brought some of those Demonic Beasts?", Sylvain asked, still joking, though his voice was everything but laced with mirth.

"The question is not if, but how many", Felix responded drily. They fell into silence again, each lost in their thoughts. Sylvain's horse began to chew on his sleeve.

"Who could've thought it'd come to this?", Sylvain sighed, "seems like our time at the academy was a lifetime ago. Us, and the other Lions, and all the other guys. And now we have to go to war with them…", he trailed off.

"They started it", Felix said sharply. "Edelgard and her bloodhound Hubert, and all their little spies and cronies. All for the glory of the great Adrestian empire", he spat out the words with as much disgust as he felt. "And the Boar is none the better! He has long lost himself to his bloodlust and thirst for revenge, and thanks to that we can all happily die here today", Felix said bitterly.

"He is still our king", Sylvain interjected tiredly.

"He is but a madman dragging all of us down with him in his blind quest for Edelgard's head on a pike!", Felix fought hard to keep his voice from shouting.

"He used to be our friend", Sylvain half-heartedly argued.

"That friend died long ago when his parents were murdered. Not that he was the only one", Felix abruptly fell quiet and yet couldn't stop the flood of memories coming back to him.

The young prince standing before his parents' coffin during the funeral, eyes empty and lifeless; his father holding Felix by the shoulder to tell him that his brother Glenn "died like a true knight, he should be proud"; their group of friends slowly falling apart with only Sylvain trying to hold them together –

Felix roughly shoved those memories into the back of his mind where they belonged, locked behind heavily bolted doors. It wasn't like him to indulge in the past, especially not on a day as important as this. He took a deep breath and spoke up again, "Think what you will about the Boar, but don't let it distract you today. We still have a promise to uphold and I don't intend to die in this miserable place today".

Sylvain smiled ruefully at him and spoke softly, "As if I could ever forget our promise just like that, you should know me better". The redhead laughed. "Also, it is way too beautiful a day to die on, don't you agree?"

*

An ear-shattering series of explosions came from atop Observation Hill. A quick look back showed Felix that it was completely ablaze, engulfing both enemy soldiers and their own into bright hot flames with a roar that sounded like a gigantic demonic beast of some kind. "Fuck", he muttered under his breath and hoped that none of his closer friends had been on that hill. He tried not to think of poor Bernadetta, who'd been up there manning the turret, now nothing more than yet another sacrifice to Edelgard's mad conquest.

An arrow that whizzed by his ear too close for his comfort violently tore him out of his thoughts, and he raised his sword once more, looking for the next enemy to destroy. His arms ached from swinging his sword all day, and sweat threatened to run into his eyes. He angrily swiped it away, only further smudging blood and dirt on his face. Looking around, he saw that Dimitri and his battalion had been cornered by a troop of heavily armoured axe knights next to the burning hill, only aided by Sylvain and his cavalry troop. Gathering his own men around him, he shouted, "To the king!", his abused vocal cords aching in the process. Using his dwindling magic, he released a sizzling lightning beam from his palm, ignoring the sharp sting of pain as the magic burned through his arm and obliterated the unfortunate souls standing in his way.

The closer they got to the hill, the more smoke filled Felix lungs and he had to cough. The air was thick with the stench of blood, explosives and magic, and with all the smoke, it was getting harder to see clearly, the smokescreen only briefly lit by the bright light of a few wayward destructive spells. He struggled to make out Dimitri in this chaos and kept hacking and slashing away at the Adrestian soldiers in his way.

Just when he thought he'd spotted Dimitri's bright blonde hair and gleaming spear a few paces away, a painfully familiar voice from somewhere behind his back shouted a panicked "WATCH OUT!" Felix spun around immediately, only to find himself roughly shoved aside by a familiar redhead. Sylvain. Felix could only watch in horror as an enemy rider brandishing a heavy lance struck at the spot where he'd stood not a moment ago. Where Sylvain was standing now. Felix almost didn't register the lightning spell leaving his fingers and burning the enemy knight to a crisp, not when all he could focus on was Sylvain slowly turning around, a trickle of blood running from his lips. "Fe…", he whispered shakily, then crumpled to the ground in a heap of plated armour and red hair. Everything inside Felix came to a screeching halt, and he turned cold all over. Frantically looking around the battlefield for one of their healers, he spotted a cream-coloured veil just on the edge of his vision.

"MERCEDES!!", he screamed at the top of his lungs, desperately trying to make himself heard over the deafening sounds of swords clashing, horses dying and men screaming. The healer was several paces away, doing her best to lightly sidestep the fighting around her while trying to provide assistance to their battalions at the same time. Her hands were covered in the white glow of recovery magic and sweat and blood clung to her usually so pristine clothing. When she locked eyes with him across the battlefield, he could see the shock in her eyes as she took in his situation. His view was momentarily cut off by an enemy soldier wielding a heavy axe that stormed in his direction, a scream on his lips. Felix raised one of his hands from Sylvain's still body, gathering whatever magic he had left to blast a shock of thunder straight to the soldier's chest. With a disgusting sizzling sound, he fell to the ground, axe clattering from his hand.

Then Mercedes was there, her normally soft hands slick with blood as she gently but firmly pushed him aside so she could see Sylvain better. By now, a pool of blood had formed around the fallen cavalier and he was only faintly breathing. Mercedes said nothing and her usually so gentle expression was locked into a tight look of intense concentration, as she kept her healing magic steadily flowing from her hands straight to the bloody hole in Sylvain's chest. Felix could only numbly watch, a shrill ringing filling his ears. He was faintly aware of the battle still raging on around him, yet he felt like everything was put under a numbing veil with the only clear focus point being the deep deep pool of red around Sylvain. That horrible, horrible moment kept replaying in his head over and over, the resounding _crunch_ the lance had made as it shattered Sylvain's plated armour, the metal screeching in a futile attempt of stopping the weapon from causing harm to its wearer. Somewhere deep in his mind, a memory from years ago flooded unwillingly to the surface. Sylvain had been covered in blood back then, too.

*

_"Let's make a promise, Fe", he'd said. His face had been unusually serious that day, eyes set with determination and brows furrowed, so unlike the easy smile that graced his features most days. Felix had been crying earlier, tear tracks still staining his cheeks. They'd just wanted to go explore for a bit, seek that treasure Miklan had told Sylvain about, that was rumoured to be buried just along that one big boulder in the forest. "C'mon Fe, it'll be fun! And imagine the face His Highness will make when we show him the great treasure we found! I bet he'll be so jealous, would serve him right for going along on that stupid diplomatic visit to Arianrhod with his dad". Felix had snickered, "And imagine the face Ingrid will make when she realizes we snuck off without her again"._

_Sylvain had laughed along with him and together they had snuck off, only shadowed by a very bored looking guard that Sylvain's father had ordered to chaperone them. They'd wandered through the forest, teasing and giggling like they were still 5 years old. They didn't find any of that supposed treasure, yet that didn't stop them from enjoying their day out in the lush and green woods around the Gautier estate that were just bursting with Springtime life and energy._

_That was until the bears had appeared. One moment they were peacefully playing by a riverside of a small stream that happily gurgled along, the next they found themselves face to face with two sleepy looking bear cubs. Sylvain had frozen immediately. "Fe", he'd whispered, "stay very still now". Felix had been confused and a bit scared, although the slightly younger boy didn't yet know of how much danger they were in. Sylvain did know, though, and he'd carefully shuffled himself and Felix backwards, trying to both keep the cubs in sight and catch the attention of the guard that was reading a book on a large rock several paces behind them. In the end it hadn't been enough._

_The slow and unhurried thumping sounds of footsteps that signalled the arrival of a very large and heavy animal had finally managed to rouse the guard - he’d hastily sprung to his feet and had grabbed the lance he'd propped up against the rock he'd been sitting on. Although, against the fully grown and enraged mother bear he'd had little chance to begin with. He'd screamed at the kids to run back to the estate; trying to keep the bear away from his charges using his lance when a heavy paw hit him on the side of his head, and he crumpled to the ground. The kids had taken off, terrified for their lives, and a hurried glance backwards to where the bear was systematically maiming the guard had been enough to have terror settle deep into their bones._

_They'd stumbled through the forest into the direction they hoped would be the right as fast as they could, breath coming quick and shallow. Behind them, the bear had finished maiming the guard and now looked to them, snout stained a dark red. To this day, Felix didn't know if it was a protective instinct activated by her cubs mewling next to her or simple bloodlust that made the bear go after the two terrified kids still stumbling away. They'd been no match for her, not even close, and with a few leaps the bear had caught up with them, swiping a paw at Felix' back._

_He was thrown through the air, a sharp burning sensation tearing through his back, and he could feel the bones in his right leg breaking upon impact with the ground. He'd screamed and tried to back away, fully expecting the bear to come and tear him apart like the guard, too. But when he'd turned around expecting to see the bear inches from his face, all he saw instead was a crop of bright red hair. Sylvain was standing with his back to him, facing the bear with hunched shoulders. The dagger in his hand was badly shaking along with the rest of his body, but he stood his ground. It was that moment that his crest activated for the first time, bursting out from around him in a ring of glowing light._

_The bear roared angrily but was clearly confused by the blinding light emanating from the small human in front of her. With a last growl she decided they were not worth the fight and took off in the direction of the river, her footsteps a heavy **thump, thump, thump**. The two boys didn't dare move for a second, until Sylvain's dagger fell from his cramped grip to the ground with a muffled **thunk**_. _They must have made quite the shocking picture when they dragged themselves out of the forest hours later, both bloodied and Felix being practically dragged along by Sylvain._

_It was later that day, when the nurses had finished gushing over them and finally let them rest for a bit, that Sylvain had come over to sit on Felix bed. "Let's make a promise, Fe", he'd said. "Let's always stick together. 'Till we grow old and die. How's that sound?" Felix had pondered it for a moment, then determinately held out his hand. "Then neither of us is allowed to die without the other. Promise?" Sylvain took his hand with a grim look on his face. "Promise"._

*

Now it was hard to recognize the child from the memory. Sylvain's face had turned horribly white, and his usually vibrant red hair had become matt and dull with grime and dirt. Felix resisted the urge to run his fingers through it and instead looked to Mercedes, whose face had turned very pinched.  
"I'm losing him", she whispered frantically, "I…the wound is so deep, and I just can't seem to stop the bleeding and I don't know what else to do - ". She interrupted herself with a choked cry. Felix was dimly aware of her apologizing over and over again, till another shout of her name from a different injured soldier made her drag herself across the battlefield once more. Felix didn't care. All he cared about were the faint breaths that still left Sylvain's lips. He dragged his exhausted body over Sylvain's steadily growing colder one. "Fe…lix", struggling to get the words out, Sylvain almost whispered, "It's…alright. I…". He never finished the sentence. His steadfast heart had finally stopped beating.

White noise filled Felix’s head and he screamed. The gory hole in Sylvain’s chest seemed to get larger and larger, burning itself onto his retinas with a sick fascination. Desperately, Felix buried his hands in the bloodstained shirt and begged, "Stay with me, damnit. You can't leave me. You promised. YOU PROMISED!!” He choked, and his eyes were unwillingly becoming blurry.

Sylvain stayed silent. He’d never speak again, never joke with him, never smile at him again.

Felix could practically feel all the years of unsaid feelings and regret burning inside of him, the actual reality that he had lost Sylvain forever hadn’t yet settled in. He really joined his brother and father and endless stream of casualties this mindless war kept demanding and had **left** him here, alone, just like everyone else had done.

Through the icy numbness of his pain, a slow haze of red started to fill his mind. Slowly, mindless rage crept up on him and took over, overshadowing the raging grief inside of him. He stumbled onto his feet, bracing himself on the remaining one of his swords, and with a mad cry he took off in the direction of the enemy's commanding battalion, their flags and banners proudly flying in the wind across Gronder field.

He didn't notice his thunder magic exploding out from him, far beyond his limits and burning scars into his arms in the process. He didn't notice his friends screaming his name, begging him to stop. He didn't notice when the enemy's arrows hit first his shoulder, then his legs, and finally all over his back.  
All he could hear was Sylvain's last breath leaving his lips and endless cycle of a softly whispered _Promise. Promise. Promise_. Over and over.

In the end, when the sun finally set over the bloody and still smoking battlefield, it was once again tinged in red and gold. The empire's red and black banners fluttered victoriously as their troops marched on, and the memory of two kids - _one red haired, the other's a dark blue, almost black - shaking hands, stubbornly agreeing to a deal that would bind them together for the rest of their lives_ \- was buried under the rhythmic stomping of their boots, along with the broken bodies of the people that promise had belonged to. It was a beautiful day.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, I've originally written the first chapter to hand it in for a university-related writing workshop (yes, we're discussing fanfiction in class and yes, it's awesome). Unfortunately it got a bit long for convenient class discussion so my teacher asked me if I could just shorten it by a page or so. I didn't wanna just straight up cut a page so instead I rewrote parts of it so it would a) still fit the story and b) be short enough for class. So angst and crimson flower route it is. Muhahahahaha.
> 
> UPDATE: The workshop went really really nicely and everyone was super kind to me! I got loads of really good feedback and I can't wait to implement that in future writing. I also send my teacher the link to this fic (as per her request) so Esther, if you're reading this, you're awesome. lol


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